Settling In - 3.5 Months

To all the groovers out there - I've finally got my Blog site up and running again. I've wanted to get this done for a while, as I can now share photos!

Wow - 3.5 months in Dubai already! I can confidently say that I'm beginning to well and truly settle in to the lifestyle here in Dubai. Then again, it's hard not too. This city is literally geared for relaxation - I've heard through the grapevine that Dubai is becoming (if it isn't already), the international city of relaxation SPAS. In fact, if anyone’s familiar with those Entertainment Books (the books with tonnes of Entertainment vouchers and special offers in them), there is actually the equivalent book here for SPAS. From Turkish baths, where your body undergoes an hour of hard massage and exfoliation on a rock slab, to exclusively male/female designated relaxation houses full of saunas/spa baths and an army of experts carrying out manicures, pedicures, facials and massages simultaneously. Before you start packing your bags - some of these treatments aren’t for the faint hearted and I suggest you carry out your research before hand - here are a few Google search items to try 'Clonic Irrigation' / 'Turkish Rock Slab Massage' / 'FULL male body exfoliation'. "There's a fine line between pleasure and pain" (Cyndi Lauper - in the 80's sometime).

On this topic of relaxation and rejuvenation, I have an interesting story that may either tantalise your thirst for higher level of health and well being, or shock you (I unfortunately had the latter experience). Before I start this little expose of the Singaporean underground, beauty salon treatment centres, this is strictly an adult's only area. For the little kids, Patsy's playing her guitar, and Fat Cat is waving goodbye as it's now time to hit the bed!

At the end of last month, I was fortunate enough to be rostered a 9 day trip from Dubai - Singapore - Brisbane (an Auckland shuttle) and then the same return journey. It involved an overnight each way in Singapore as well as two 48 hour blocks in Brisbane. After carrying out my stay in Brisbane, which was great to catch up with all the family and friends, I hoped on the plane and crewed back to Singapore where we had a night and a full day. After wondering around Orchid Rd in the morning and getting something to eat, I decided to hit the Far East Plaza as I had been told (from a reliable source), that it wasn't a 'bad' place to pick up a few bargains.

Unfortunately I couldn't find much inspiration in the plaza and decided to head back to the hotel room, but fate had a different plan for me that day. Turning a corner, on the third floor, I could just make out a small pink beauty salon tucked between a travel agent and shoe shop. On the outside window were various treatments and the inclusive prices. Before I could even approach, I heard a voice that reminded me a lot of my days in China;

'Hello, Hello, you want massage, cheap price'

As became my natural reaction in China, the answer was 'No, but Thank you' and to walk off. But something was different this day - tired from an overnight flight and looking a bit worse for wear after a few full on days in Brissy, I decided that a massage wasn't the order of the day, but I might try a facial (why not push the boundaries a bit). Explaining this to my Chinese friend brought a look of shock and confusion - 'You want facial, facial', whilst rubbing her hands over her face. 'Yes, I would like a facial', I replied. Although she still seemed confused, she invited me inside her tiny salon and made me comfortable on the facial table while she prepared the ingredients. During this time, I managed to find out that she had moved to Singapore from the Chinese province of Chengdu only two years ago. Chengdu is famous for its Panda breeding schemes and zoos - it's a popular place for tourist, but I unfortunately had to bypass it on my travels last year.

After beginning the facial, I recall the conversation went something like this;

Facial Lady (FL) - 'You young boy, how old'
Me - 'Just turned 24'
FL - 'Ahh, very young boy, you have girlfriend'
Me - 'No, I'm single, are you married'
FL - Lots of Laughter 'No, no, no, me single'
Me - 'Oh, ok' trying to relax

The treatment was actually very good. My face felt rejuvenated and refreshed. At the end of the treatment, she applied a mud mask and covered my eyes with a white cloth. Since it needed to set, she left the room while I lay there, trying my best to think relaxing thoughts. After five minutes, I again heard her pull the curtain and sit down on a stool next to me. I then started to feel her hands over my shoulder and upper arms, gentle massaging the muscle. She worked down to my hands where she carried out 'popping' my fingers (which I believe is a Shiatsu massaging technique). Although I hadn't read it anywhere in the description of a 'FACIAL', on the board outside, I thought maybe it was something inclusive in the price.

After completing a full massage on both hands, soon I started feeling a hand creep up my legs. Although she started on the lower portion of my thigh, soon she was courting dangerously close to my crotch area. Just before pulling her hand away, she stopped, and started to pull the mud mask off my face. Before my eyes could re-adjust to the light, she was back down low, and this time there was know 'courting' if you know what I mean. After a few squeaks from deep in my throat, she looked at me in a confusing glaze;

FL - 'You don't like me, you don't want'
Me - 'Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, no'
FL - Motioning towards my below area with her head, and making signals with her hand and face that only meant one thing
Me - Starting to realise what type of beauty salon I was actually in
FL - 'Padding my stomach, you so small, so slim boy'
Me - Thinking; I haven't had any complaints yet 'I think it's time I go'

I got up from the table and went to the other side of the room to collect my belongings and felt a sharp pain on my backside coupled with a slapping sound;

FL - 'You handsome boy, so funny, you come back soon'
Me - 'Righttt, will try to'

So, a lesson to be learnt here for everyone - not really sure what it is just yet, but any suggestions would be appreciated.

The communication issues between me and the beauty salon lady also reminds me of a few communication problems here in Dubai. Although English is widely spoken, doesn't mean it's widely spoken in an understandable fashion. Ordering food is a great example of this. As mentioned in previous posts, Dubai has a full room service delivery system. Almost most (if not all) food related businesses will deliver. I can call the local grocery store and order a litre of milk and within 10 minutes it will be at my door. Unfortunately, placing the order can sometimes be a mission. Typical conversations go something like this;

Sands Grocery Store - 'Hello, Hello, Hello, this is Sands'
Me - 'Why hello, I would like to place an order'
Sands - 'Order' (in a confused voice) 'you want food, you want to place order for food'
Me - (now in a confused voice) 'this is Sands grocery store'
Sands - 'Just wait'
HOLD MUSIC
Sands - 'Hello, Hello, Hello, this is Sands'
Me - 'Hello, I would like to order some food'
Sands - 'You want food, you want to have food delivery' (again, in a confused voice)
Me - 'Yes, I would like to order food; this is why I've called your 24 hour food delivery hotline'
Sands - 'Food, yes, what would you like'
Me - 'I would like a 6 pack of Masafi bottled water, 1 litre of low fat milk, 2 apples and 2 bananas'
Sands - 'Ok - thank you' (hang up)
TWO MINUTES LATER MY PHONE RINGS
Me - 'Hello'
Sands - 'Hello, Hello, Hello - where are you'
Me - 'At home'
Sands - 'What apartment'
Me - 'Ahhh....' (explains the apartment number/position)

After 15 minutes the groceries arrive;

Grocery man - 'Ahh, don't have low fat milk, only normal fat, apples only come in four pack and only have one banana left'
Me - 'Ok, thank you' (secretly thinking this is the LAST time I order food from a grocery store).

In other exciting news for this 3.5 month edition of my blog;

- I've now done a few more layovers, visiting Manila, London and Düsseldorf so far, as well as the Brisbane trip,
- My friend Michelle stopped over on her way to the UK, where she is working. We had a great four days together, hiring a car and driving down to Abu Dhabi, going on a desert safari where we dune bashed in a four wheel drive, smoked lots of sheesha, road a camel and tried our hand at some traditional Arabic belly dancing. It was a lot of fun and for the first time I felt like a bit of a tourist in Dubai - I really enjoyed myself and was so happy Michelle was able to make the effort to come and stay,
- Starting playing Netball on Wednesday nights (well, when I’m not away). It’s a great set up, just rock up at 7.30pm and play mini social games of about 12-15 minutes. Although it’s 35 degrees and everyone’s sweating like a pig, it’s a lot of fun and I think it’s healthy to be socialising with people outside the Cabin Crew world. It’s so easy to start a conversation here in Dubai, since almost everyone is from a different culture, country, background; it only takes a few sentences before you’re immersed in their story. Last night at Netball, I met a girl who grew up in Brighton and Dad lives in Hallett Cove, married to a the mother of a girl I know through my friend’s Sandra and Alison (it’s Katie Disley’s Mum girls)…what a coincidence!

Anyways – that’s enough of me rabbiting on. Please keep all the news coming – I really enjoy reading all the e-mails and keeping up to date with everyone’s movements. I’ll be in contact if I’m going to be close to your area and hopefully we can catch up!

Until then – that’s all folks.

10 Days in Yunnan

YUNNAN

The first 10 days of my 22 day tour started in the province of Yunnan. Yunnan is situated in the south-west of the country and borders Vietnam, Laos, Myanmar (Burma) and the Chinese Tibetan province. Yunnan is considered one of the most picturesque provinces of China. It has a varied environment, from tropical rainforests in the south to tall mountainous peaks in the north-west.

KUNMING

The tour started in Kunming. I arrived on Saturday, 16 September from Hong Kong. I had pre-arranged an airport transfer to my hotel and found my driver holding my name, and the names of two other travellers, in the arrival hall. After spending 15 minutes trying to explain that the other two people were not travelling with me, I thought, SHIT, I'm in China and this guy has NO idea what I'm talking about.

Kunming is a modern city with around 4 million people. I can't say there is anything spectacular to see in Kunming, its inner city, in many ways, is very similar to Adelaide (which is kind of weird). The city has large wide streets, with lots of gardens and squares dotted all over. I met an American chick (who's vegetarian) at the reception of my hotel after arriving from the airport, who was also on my tour. We decided to spend the next day walking around the city and checking out the sites. We had an interesting day, filled with paddle boating in the gardens, trying to order vegetarian meals in Chinese and finding western toilets in hotels and department stores- all fun stuff!

My 22 day tour started on Sunday, September 17. There's 16 people on the Yunnan tour in total and only 7 for the rest of the tour. There is a mix of nationalities and ages (from 19 to late 60’s). On the first day of the tour, we visited the Flower Market and Bird Market in Kunming, which was filled with some interesting sites. Some fish on display in aquariums near the bird market had dull blue and red colourings on their sides. It turns out they are lasered to produce these colour variations???

LIJIANG & TIGER LEAPING GORGE

One 10 hour overnight train, a stop for breakfast in Dali, then a 4 hour bus ride, finally ends in Lijiang. Lijiang is split in to an OLD and NEW town – we stayed in OLD town. Old town (as described by Lonely Planet) is a ‘delightful maze of cobbled streets, rickety old wooden buildings, gushing canals and the hurly-burly of market life’. Lijiang is home to the Naxi people – one of 56 minority groups within China. OLD town is one of their traditional towns. Although the town is quaint and pretty, there is now a large international and internal tourism element which, in some ways, spoils the ‘authenticity’ of the experience.

Ignoring the tourists, there is a great atmosphere and so much activity everywhere. We had the afternoon to explore, before preparing for our three day hike in Tiger Leaping Gorge the next morning (the gorge being another 3.5 hour bus ride from Lijiang).

Tiger Leaping Gorge is the second deepest gorge in the world – it measures 16km in length and 3900m in height. The gorges sits in the far west of the province, very close to the Tibetan border. The river at this point is known as the Jinsha River, but eventually flows in to the Yangtze River and on to Shanghai. There are two tracks available to hikers – the low road (which is a paved road for vehicles and sits at an elevation of around 1800m) or the high road which is only available to people and horses. We started on the low road and walked 11km to Tina’s Guest House, which is 5km short of the length of the gorge.

The gorge is spectacular. Below is a mighty river, filled with off the scale rapids, and above, snow capped mountains, with whisks of clouds occasionally blocking the view of the jaggered peaks. The low road is flat and easy. We make it to Tina’s in around 2 hours and rest in preparation for our next days hike.

The next morning a group of us descend 100m (almost vertically) to the river’s edge – this part of the gorge is known as the middle rapids. Being up close to the rapids was awesome and I was able to get some great pictures of the enormity of the gorge. We went back up a different way from our descent track. This way involved some serious climbing (the hardest in the whole track) and in one part, a 90 degree, vertically aligned ladder, known to the locals as the ‘sky ladder’. This was BLOODY scary – in fact – I can’t believe I actually did it. From the bottom it really didn’t look that bad, but about half way up, looking both sides at a completely vertical drop down to the rapids below, and hearing the creaks and moans of a ladder tied to the cliff by some old steel wire, the andrenalin seriously started pumping (this ladder would have to be around 25m from bottom to top). By the time we climbed back to the low road, I was amazed at what I had done, although some people in the group thought it was a piece of cake!

By the time we reached the top it was lunch time and we only had an hour before starting our trek up to the high road and on to the Halfway Guest House (you guessed it, it’s halfway along the gorge). The high road is a 500m ascent from the low road (2300m elevation). This was the hardest part of our three day trek in the gorge, taking over 5 hours. We ascend to the low road then walk along a spectacular path, passing under waterfalls, through thick shrub and forest and passing a couple of local houses dotted along the path. Eventually we make it to the Halfway House.

The third day of the hike involved a small ascent of 300m to the path which eventually leads us back down to the low road. Since most of this hike was downhill I found it quite easy and really enjoyed taking in the scenery on the way down. There were some great spots for photographs and I can’t wait to show a couple of these when I get back! We made it down to the low road in around 4 hours, just in time for the public bus back to Lijiang.

We again spend another night in Lijiang, which was good fun! A small group of us decided we needed a KFC injection after our three day marathon in Tiger Leaping Gorge and I couldn’t agree more – western fast food is like a god send after 11 days of Chinese cuisine (what a cope out, but I couldn’t help myself)!

This night, a small group of us end up in one of the local pubs dotted along the canals. There are pubs each side of the canals and are all open in the front. It has been a local tradition to compete with members in opposite pubs on the other side of the canal with this chant game. First a group sings a short song or chant (I don’t really know what because I can’t understand Mandarin, but one group was singing Happy Birthday) and at the end of the chant they scream Yashou, Yashou, Ya Ya SHOUUUUUU. The group in the opposite bar then starts with their own chant and again finishes with the Yashou (which is a Tibetan chant meaning – Come On or Bring It On). The aim is to be the loudest and most expressive group and really ‘give it’ to the group you’re opposing.

Being the ‘voyeristic’ aussies we are (there were four of us), we decided to give it ago and see what the reaction would be. We sat ourselves up in the top floor of this bar and decided on Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oi Oi Oi! The four of us, at the top of our voices, sang the chant, but were completely rejected by the locals in the opposing pub – how embarassing. Down below were four westerners that congratulated us on our efforts, we of course invited them up to join us (they were from Finland, but currently living in Ireland). We were also joined by my American buddy from Kunming along with two other members of the other tour group – now we meant business. Over the next 1 and a half hours we sang tunes from Row Row Row Your Boat to Madonna’s ‘Like a Virgin’ – we were unstopable! With 11 people, we were really getting the attention of the locals and had three groups apposing us in the two bars opposite! We’re not sure how this game is meant to end, but since we had run out of tunes and had no voice left, we decided to hit the sack.

DALI

The next morning we had a four bus trip to Dali. Dali has been a popular spot for western tourists to chill out. The city is split between old town and new town. Old town sits between 2100m high Jade Green Mountain and Erhai Lake. The Bai minority group inhabit this region and have thought to have settled in the area around 3000 years ago.

The group opt for a horse ride up Jade Green Mountain to Zhonghe Temple. The temple belongs to the Taoist religion. I hate horses – I seriously was not made to ride them. If there was an alternative path, my horse would take it. I would regularly find myself in thick shrub, waiting for my horse to finish a feed on some lush plant growth. Sometimes, my horse would enjoy teasing the horse in front, ending in a small tussle between the two horses. Going down was not much better, again my horse would take great pleasure in subjecting me to small vertical cliff jumps, instead of the purpose made steps on an alternative path. All the time behind me, was Steve Irwins reincarnation, shouting ‘just pull his head up, mate’! I was very happy to be back on ground and walking.

The next morning we took a bike ride to the Bai villages and rice fields dotted along Erhui Lake. I loved exploring this area and got some great pictures of the locals at work in the fields. In the afternoon I explored Dali city and met up with the group for dinner and a night out on the town.

The next day we travelled back to Kunming via bus (had to pass two traffic jams along the way. Adelaidians would not survive the roads here, there is no order to the traffic and everyone simply beep their horns around two seconds before they are about to plough in to your ass. Bike riding on the main roads is even more interesting!

Back in Kunming, the 10 day Yunnan adventure is over and we fly to Guilin to start the rest of the tour (more on this in future blogs). I really enjoyed Yunnan and have learnt so much about the minority cultures that exist in this region.

THINGS I HAVE LEARNT SO FAR

1. Traveller’s Diarrehia really SUCKS,
2. Squat Toilets (when you can’t squat properly, like me) really SUCK,
3. Squat Toilets, combined with Traveller's Diarrehia and the horrible realisation you forgot to bring your toilet paper with you, can get VERY messy – believe me. I have never been so happy to see a copy of Chinese Vogue in a public toilet in all my life,
4. The Chinese word for Tampons (some how I must have said this whilst trying to find a lufer in a supermarket in Lijiang, because the shop assistant giggled and handed me a packet of Tampons whilst running away),Why we have MALE and FEMALE toilets at home (think about it).
5. Why we have MALE and FEMALE toilets at home (think about it).

6 Days in Hong Kong

Arrived in Hong Kong on the night of Monday, September 11th - out of all the places in China I'm about to visit, I was least prepared for Hong Kong. I had pre-booked accommodation in Tsim Sha Tsiu, which is on the Kowloon Peninsula.

The accommodation was inside Chunking Masions, which I later found out was possibly the most dodgy place in Hong Kong. It was apparently the main setting for a famous Hong Kong movie called 'Chunking', which exposes the 'underground' life of Hong Kong. My first night I was attacked by bed bugs and my second night I had a visit from four men, banging on my door and screaming 'Aussie, Aussie, open the door Aussie, we want your money, we know you're in there'. As you can imagine - I shat myself.

Thankfully they went away and I made the decision to move to a different place of accommodation - good move Garth!

Hong Kong (apart from Chunking Masions) was full on. The place is consumerism gone MAD - shops selling almost ANYTHING are squeezed in to every nook and crany. Walking down Nathan Road, it's like some sort of computer generated scene, with a Sony shop, Nikon shop, Sanyo shop, Panasonic shop and Toshiba shop repeated (in this combination, no joke) over and over and over again.

I went to Disneyland on Thursday which ended up being a really cool day - SpaceMountain was the best - I haven't laughed so hard in so long.

The city's fusion between East and West is amazing and seems to have a lot more identity and atmosphere than Singapore. Getting around was cheap, easy and comfortable and I didn't have any problems getting directions from the locals.

I also enjoyed reading the English translations of the signs and information boards. In the bus from the Airport to the City the sign reads 'Please Consider Wearing Your Seatbelt if necessary' (it's probably too late if it's necessary). Also 'the pheramones will tantalise your nostrils'????

I've now arrived in Kunming and I'll post more about my first few days in Mainland China when I next have Internet access.

China Bound

Well - it's nearly time to go! I can't say I'm a big fan of 'Blogging' (for those of you not familar with the art of 'Blogging', there is a definition on this website, somewhere). However, it does provide a very convenient means of communicating my stories, pictures and any BIG events (that's right - BIG EVENTS), from China, to the world.

So stay tuned, hopefully I'll have developed my 'Blogging' skills up to scratch before I leave for China on Sep 11th!