Settling In - 3.5 Months

To all the groovers out there - I've finally got my Blog site up and running again. I've wanted to get this done for a while, as I can now share photos!

Wow - 3.5 months in Dubai already! I can confidently say that I'm beginning to well and truly settle in to the lifestyle here in Dubai. Then again, it's hard not too. This city is literally geared for relaxation - I've heard through the grapevine that Dubai is becoming (if it isn't already), the international city of relaxation SPAS. In fact, if anyone’s familiar with those Entertainment Books (the books with tonnes of Entertainment vouchers and special offers in them), there is actually the equivalent book here for SPAS. From Turkish baths, where your body undergoes an hour of hard massage and exfoliation on a rock slab, to exclusively male/female designated relaxation houses full of saunas/spa baths and an army of experts carrying out manicures, pedicures, facials and massages simultaneously. Before you start packing your bags - some of these treatments aren’t for the faint hearted and I suggest you carry out your research before hand - here are a few Google search items to try 'Clonic Irrigation' / 'Turkish Rock Slab Massage' / 'FULL male body exfoliation'. "There's a fine line between pleasure and pain" (Cyndi Lauper - in the 80's sometime).

On this topic of relaxation and rejuvenation, I have an interesting story that may either tantalise your thirst for higher level of health and well being, or shock you (I unfortunately had the latter experience). Before I start this little expose of the Singaporean underground, beauty salon treatment centres, this is strictly an adult's only area. For the little kids, Patsy's playing her guitar, and Fat Cat is waving goodbye as it's now time to hit the bed!

At the end of last month, I was fortunate enough to be rostered a 9 day trip from Dubai - Singapore - Brisbane (an Auckland shuttle) and then the same return journey. It involved an overnight each way in Singapore as well as two 48 hour blocks in Brisbane. After carrying out my stay in Brisbane, which was great to catch up with all the family and friends, I hoped on the plane and crewed back to Singapore where we had a night and a full day. After wondering around Orchid Rd in the morning and getting something to eat, I decided to hit the Far East Plaza as I had been told (from a reliable source), that it wasn't a 'bad' place to pick up a few bargains.

Unfortunately I couldn't find much inspiration in the plaza and decided to head back to the hotel room, but fate had a different plan for me that day. Turning a corner, on the third floor, I could just make out a small pink beauty salon tucked between a travel agent and shoe shop. On the outside window were various treatments and the inclusive prices. Before I could even approach, I heard a voice that reminded me a lot of my days in China;

'Hello, Hello, you want massage, cheap price'

As became my natural reaction in China, the answer was 'No, but Thank you' and to walk off. But something was different this day - tired from an overnight flight and looking a bit worse for wear after a few full on days in Brissy, I decided that a massage wasn't the order of the day, but I might try a facial (why not push the boundaries a bit). Explaining this to my Chinese friend brought a look of shock and confusion - 'You want facial, facial', whilst rubbing her hands over her face. 'Yes, I would like a facial', I replied. Although she still seemed confused, she invited me inside her tiny salon and made me comfortable on the facial table while she prepared the ingredients. During this time, I managed to find out that she had moved to Singapore from the Chinese province of Chengdu only two years ago. Chengdu is famous for its Panda breeding schemes and zoos - it's a popular place for tourist, but I unfortunately had to bypass it on my travels last year.

After beginning the facial, I recall the conversation went something like this;

Facial Lady (FL) - 'You young boy, how old'
Me - 'Just turned 24'
FL - 'Ahh, very young boy, you have girlfriend'
Me - 'No, I'm single, are you married'
FL - Lots of Laughter 'No, no, no, me single'
Me - 'Oh, ok' trying to relax

The treatment was actually very good. My face felt rejuvenated and refreshed. At the end of the treatment, she applied a mud mask and covered my eyes with a white cloth. Since it needed to set, she left the room while I lay there, trying my best to think relaxing thoughts. After five minutes, I again heard her pull the curtain and sit down on a stool next to me. I then started to feel her hands over my shoulder and upper arms, gentle massaging the muscle. She worked down to my hands where she carried out 'popping' my fingers (which I believe is a Shiatsu massaging technique). Although I hadn't read it anywhere in the description of a 'FACIAL', on the board outside, I thought maybe it was something inclusive in the price.

After completing a full massage on both hands, soon I started feeling a hand creep up my legs. Although she started on the lower portion of my thigh, soon she was courting dangerously close to my crotch area. Just before pulling her hand away, she stopped, and started to pull the mud mask off my face. Before my eyes could re-adjust to the light, she was back down low, and this time there was know 'courting' if you know what I mean. After a few squeaks from deep in my throat, she looked at me in a confusing glaze;

FL - 'You don't like me, you don't want'
Me - 'Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, no'
FL - Motioning towards my below area with her head, and making signals with her hand and face that only meant one thing
Me - Starting to realise what type of beauty salon I was actually in
FL - 'Padding my stomach, you so small, so slim boy'
Me - Thinking; I haven't had any complaints yet 'I think it's time I go'

I got up from the table and went to the other side of the room to collect my belongings and felt a sharp pain on my backside coupled with a slapping sound;

FL - 'You handsome boy, so funny, you come back soon'
Me - 'Righttt, will try to'

So, a lesson to be learnt here for everyone - not really sure what it is just yet, but any suggestions would be appreciated.

The communication issues between me and the beauty salon lady also reminds me of a few communication problems here in Dubai. Although English is widely spoken, doesn't mean it's widely spoken in an understandable fashion. Ordering food is a great example of this. As mentioned in previous posts, Dubai has a full room service delivery system. Almost most (if not all) food related businesses will deliver. I can call the local grocery store and order a litre of milk and within 10 minutes it will be at my door. Unfortunately, placing the order can sometimes be a mission. Typical conversations go something like this;

Sands Grocery Store - 'Hello, Hello, Hello, this is Sands'
Me - 'Why hello, I would like to place an order'
Sands - 'Order' (in a confused voice) 'you want food, you want to place order for food'
Me - (now in a confused voice) 'this is Sands grocery store'
Sands - 'Just wait'
HOLD MUSIC
Sands - 'Hello, Hello, Hello, this is Sands'
Me - 'Hello, I would like to order some food'
Sands - 'You want food, you want to have food delivery' (again, in a confused voice)
Me - 'Yes, I would like to order food; this is why I've called your 24 hour food delivery hotline'
Sands - 'Food, yes, what would you like'
Me - 'I would like a 6 pack of Masafi bottled water, 1 litre of low fat milk, 2 apples and 2 bananas'
Sands - 'Ok - thank you' (hang up)
TWO MINUTES LATER MY PHONE RINGS
Me - 'Hello'
Sands - 'Hello, Hello, Hello - where are you'
Me - 'At home'
Sands - 'What apartment'
Me - 'Ahhh....' (explains the apartment number/position)

After 15 minutes the groceries arrive;

Grocery man - 'Ahh, don't have low fat milk, only normal fat, apples only come in four pack and only have one banana left'
Me - 'Ok, thank you' (secretly thinking this is the LAST time I order food from a grocery store).

In other exciting news for this 3.5 month edition of my blog;

- I've now done a few more layovers, visiting Manila, London and Düsseldorf so far, as well as the Brisbane trip,
- My friend Michelle stopped over on her way to the UK, where she is working. We had a great four days together, hiring a car and driving down to Abu Dhabi, going on a desert safari where we dune bashed in a four wheel drive, smoked lots of sheesha, road a camel and tried our hand at some traditional Arabic belly dancing. It was a lot of fun and for the first time I felt like a bit of a tourist in Dubai - I really enjoyed myself and was so happy Michelle was able to make the effort to come and stay,
- Starting playing Netball on Wednesday nights (well, when I’m not away). It’s a great set up, just rock up at 7.30pm and play mini social games of about 12-15 minutes. Although it’s 35 degrees and everyone’s sweating like a pig, it’s a lot of fun and I think it’s healthy to be socialising with people outside the Cabin Crew world. It’s so easy to start a conversation here in Dubai, since almost everyone is from a different culture, country, background; it only takes a few sentences before you’re immersed in their story. Last night at Netball, I met a girl who grew up in Brighton and Dad lives in Hallett Cove, married to a the mother of a girl I know through my friend’s Sandra and Alison (it’s Katie Disley’s Mum girls)…what a coincidence!

Anyways – that’s enough of me rabbiting on. Please keep all the news coming – I really enjoy reading all the e-mails and keeping up to date with everyone’s movements. I’ll be in contact if I’m going to be close to your area and hopefully we can catch up!

Until then – that’s all folks.